


Ramona having a real one

by skuxie



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22238956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skuxie/pseuds/skuxie





	Ramona having a real one

The music was loud. The kind of volume that rattled your bones and shook apart your thoughts. There were sweaty bodies everywhere. Pushing. Bumping. Touching. The smell of body odor and beer created a vile smell that threatened to coax the vomit out of anyone who was unfortunate enough to catch it.

Ramona sat at a table near the dance floor. A few soggy french fries were the only things keeping her company. Her electric blue nails rapped against the table. Seeing people inebriated stressed her out. They were too unpredictable. Too prone to hurting themselves or others. Too stupid. While the drunken antics of strangers only put her at a slight unease, watching those close to her fall under the influence of the depressant tore her up inside. It brought up memories that were both frightening and embarrassing; not that she would ever indulge that information to anyone else. That would make her a buzzkill, and being the thought of being seen as anything other than the life of the party was absolutely unbearable. She watched a man who looked like he would fall over at any moment dance a few feet away from her with a grimace. His moves were sloppy and less than impressive. Ramona leaned back in her chair, desperate for a distraction from the scene before her. She focused on the colorful lights that pulsed along to the music. They felt like Pop Rocks; flavored with color and bursting energy. Ramona smiled to herself. Lights were a comfort. No one else could ever understand the feelings and tastes that unique forms of light offered her. The lights danced around her. 

She sighed. What was she doing there? The answer came quickly. The club invited fresh faces into her life. She craved someone she could form a lasting bond with. Unfortunately for her, it seemed she was stuck in the same cycle she had been in since sophomore year. Sophomore year she had kissed the starting quarterback during the homecoming game. He was a bad kisser. He had a crooked tooth. His name was Troy Thomas. She remembered. She remembered every name. 

He lasted a week.

“Excuse me?”

Ramona startled at the voice, head snapping down to look at the face of a sheepish looking man. There was sweat on his brow and his face looked ruddy in the blinking lights. His eyes were green. His blonde hair fell to the sides of his face. It took only seconds to pick apart the elements that made up his appearance, but those seconds would remain for years. She would remember. Ramona gave him a courteous smile. “Can I help you?”

The man’s eyes lit up at the sight of her smile. Ramona had been told countless times that she had a beautiful smile. She watched him shove his hands into his pocket, trying to act nonchalant. “Do you like raisins?”

Ramona blinked. She had a feeling she knew where this one was going, but she played along, “Can’t say I’ve got any strong feelings about them.”  
“How about a date?” 

Ramona snorted. God, that one was bad. “Really? That’s what you’re going with? What Laffy Taffy wrapper did you get that one off of?” She couldn’t help but smile.

The man chuckled, “I know, I know! Not my best work, but It’s more fun to see a reaction to a corny line than a gross one.” He grinned. “Mind if I join you?”  
“Only if you promise to hang up the Groucho glasses and rubber chicken!” She put up her hands in feigned defense.

Her new companion drew an X across his chest, “Cross my heart!” He took the seat next to her. “The name’s Nick. What’s yours?” He offered her his hand.  
Ramona laughed again, accepting his gesture. “Ooh! A handshake, how formal!” They released each others’ hands and Ramona turned her chair to face him. “I’m Ramona.” She gave a sweet smile. Nick was a little awkward, but it was endearing. “Nice to meet you, Nick.”

Nick put his elbows on the table and rested his chin in his hands. “Same to you, Ramona.” He had a gentle smile. “Hey, I’m not intercepting a date night, am I?”  
Ramona shook her head. Her happy expression faltered for a second, but she quickly recovered. “Yeah, I’m taken. That’s why I’m sitting alone at a dirty table in a two star club. Don’t touch the fries, that’s my boyfriend.”

Nick looked amused. His eyes crinkled when he smiled. “This club kinda does suck, huh?”

Ramona gasped, pretending to look offended. “How dare you! I think I found the second Gum Wall underneath this table, and that alone is enough to bump this place up to three and a half stars.”  
“Maybe even four?” They both laughed. He was quick. Able to keep up with her jokes. She liked it.

Ramona tapped her chin, in mock thought. “Maybe, but only if we’re feeling generous. I’ll have to ask the health inspector what side of the bed she woke up on this morning.” She realized they were leaning in close. He was charming. Disarmingly so. The constant nagging voice in the back of Ramona’s mind told her she would regret this. She didn’t listen. She never did.

Nick’s infatuation lasted six hours.

She felt so stupid. That had to be a new record. 

Jimmy Dunn. Three weeks. Tommy Hogan. Four days. Sonja Valdez. A month. Luis Copeland. Two weeks and four days. Gina Sommers. Two months and two weeks. Dex Ahn. Five days. Todd Bridges. Three and a half weeks. Donna Mathews. A week and a half. Countless names with countless days; all gone to waste. But six hours was a new one. It would have been impressive if Ramona wasn’t busy crying her eyes out in her room. Again. This always happened. 

Kian had tried to help. He always did. He was bad at helping. “If you need anything...I’ll be right out here in the living room. Just holler.” He paused, his brows knitting together in concern. “Seriously, okay?” His words were gentle and genuine; the way he spoke when it was just the two of them. She appreciated it, but deep down, she was certain he was sick of the constant pity parties; only pretending to feel bad for her. Afterall, he had made it abundantly clear that he found romance stupid and pointless. Ramona doubted he meant it, but he was sure to remind her any chance he got.

On the other hand, Ramona cared all too much about romance. Romance plagued her thoughts every day; it was a near obsession for her. Love and romance were a performance. A delicate dance that dazzled and changed those who viewed it. But the intricacies of this particular tango always evaded her. She wanted to remain hopeful-- The right person is bound to come someday!-- but attempt after attempt after attempt left her feeling like she was running herself in circles.  
Mounting frustration and worry had hardened a piece inside her like a pit trapped in her stomach. The light of her personality couldn’t exist without darkness, and that pit was her Achilles' heel. Deep, deep down, she hated the word ‘love’. Those four letters. The phrase ‘I love you’. She had lost count of how many times someone had uttered that phrase to her. Every time it felt so real--like the person who spoke them truly meant it-- but each time they turned up empty and meaningless. The cycle would continue. The miserable, dizzying dance would go on with no sign of a resolution. Perhaps forever. Every fleeting face and name would be burned into her memory; reminders of when she gave too much of herself with nothing to show in return.

Ramona forced herself up off of her floor. Sobs shook her form as she stumbled to the bathroom that connected the two bedrooms. Her reflection looked like a mess. She hated it. Her eyes were puffy and red. Her frown deepened and she turned on the cold water. Cold water pressed under the eyes and splashed on the wrists. Fixing her hair and makeup. She was good at making it seem like she hadn’t just been crying. Too good at it. A few deep breaths and the feeling of heartbreak was tucked away, deep, deep inside. The feeling of heartbreak was too alluring of a mistress to ignore; given a few more hours and Ramona knew she would be back to chasing the feeling once again.


End file.
